Wait, we have to prove ourselves now? How did I find myself outside the bubble?I’m walking along one day listening to a long form interview with Sarah Silverman. When she’s asked about becoming a ‘success’ she says, “You have to make yourself undeniable”. I slowed for a beat because it dawns on me (Light Dawns on Marblehead), I never had to be undeniable. I just had to show up and I could reasonably expect I would get the opportunity I knew I deserved. I’ll say that again for emphasis where I felt it: “I just had to show up and I could reasonably expect I would get the opportunity I knew I deserved.” Not the opportunity I earned or strived to obtain, the one I expected. I wonder what it’s like to wonder if you’ll even get in the door; if you’ll even get to see the door. I don’t know what that’s like and have never known what that’s like. I don’t have to be undeniable, I just have to be a middle-class white guy. You know, normal.Let’s apply this to a different person: an African-American woman or an immigrant, somebody who’s not a middle-class white guy, you know, someone who’s not normal like me. I’ve come to appreciate, even if I’ll likely never be able to empathize, that wondering if you’ll even get a shot at an attempt is pretty much like starting a foot race half a mile away from the starting line.
Folks like to repeat aphorisms like “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” as a way of implying people may not be trying hard enough to succeed. First, you usually hear this from someone who no longer has to prove themselves, second, you also miss 100% of the shots you take when you didn’t get the ball to begin with. You can’t pull yourself up by your bootsstraps if the system is rigged to keep you from getting any boots. You also can’t “learn to fish” very effectively when you don’t start out with a fishing pole, or a hook, or bait.
The simple fact is, those of us who never had to wonder if we’d get a shot to take a shot really don’t understand what others call “the struggle”. When we discount that there is a struggle at all, we show our ignorance and even worse, our inability to see anything beyond ourselves. When we deny that there is inequality inherent and institutionalized in our society, we’re effectively saying: “Well I have my piece of the pie, too bad for you.”
The next time you hear about bootstraps, ‘taking shots’, or fishing poles, stop and think; is that even true?
Work for justice, meritocracy, and an equal playing field. Call out disparities when you see them. Don’t be satisfied with the status quo, it’s not a level playing field.
Brain Particles 